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This was an e-mail exchange with one of my supervisors this morning.

—–Original Message—–
From: Supervisor
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2008 11:10 AM
To: IVEverLow
Subject:

Question of the day: if you have sex with a hooker against her will, is it rape or shoplifting?

—–Original Message—–
From: IVEverlow
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2008 11:23 AM
To: Supervisor
Subject: RE:

Well boss lady, it all depends on the location of said action.

Scenario A:

Hooker is off duty and shopping at the local CVS, more than likely picking up prescription medication for the flu or something of the sorts although why she is there is completely irrelevant to the scenario. If you proposition said hooker at the Pharmacy and you are denied access, to which you follow her to her home, wait until she opens the door and club her on the head with a relatively blunt object then upon entering the home of the alleged prostitute unconscious se*ual gratification is provided, then in that case it would be assumed to be rape. Good times, but rape nonetheless.

Scenario B:

Hooker is standing on the corner of K and 14th streets which is the usual location of her business endeavors. Strolling out of the local church after confessing, you feel light hearted and jubilee. You approach said hooker and because of your newfound religious cleansing, you try to make her stray from this life of sin she is living. Hooker is happy living the street life which is ridiculous and totally unacceptable by you. As you walk away in a fit of rage something in your head snaps and you bolster into the church you had just left, break off a statue of Jesus on the cross and haul ass to the corner where you beat the love of god into the evil woman. You then have your way with her right there on the corner and feel disgusted after you clean up. That situation would be considered shoplifiting. Just like the snickers bar in 3rd grade, it was worth it.

I hope I have answered this question to your satisfaction. Let me know if further clarification is needed.

—–Original Message—–
From: Supervisor
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2008 11:23 AM
To: IVEverlow
Subject: RE:

Sometimes I wonder what goes through your head.

I think she’s creeped out by me now. I’ve been staring at her all day and she keeps glancing up at me nervously.